Columns: Flipside

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India Today, April 5, 1999
April 5, 1999

FLIPSIDE
Endangered List

By Dilip Bobb

Forget Private Ryan. There are more important species to save, judging by the latest list released by the Wildlife Protection Fund. The list was expanded to include additional species which were previously not considered endangered. However, according to the latest findings it seems that indiscriminate threats have become commonplace and no one is safe any more. Here's the list of newly endangered species:

Residents of Delhi: The city has redefined the meaning of Capital Punishment. With Delhi's crime graph shooting up it is, quite literally, no longer the city to die for. Delhiites now feel bereft without their daily fix of murder and mayhem. Earlier, the most dangerous criminals were those behind the wheel of motorised transport. Now, they're everywhere except behind bars, courtesy the Delhi Police. If things don't improve, it may be safer to shift to Kosovo.

Tamil Nadu Ministers: Till quite recently, it used to be Jayalalitha's tax accountant. Now, it's open season on ministers as well. Clearly, the AIADMK's attacks on the state Government have acquired more punch and the party is becoming more selective in terms of its "target audience". However, it does smell of high-handedness, especially if the party has decided to adopt a more literal approach to its intention of toppling the government.

Harvard Economists: Thanks to Yashwant Sinha, another protected species has now joined the endangered list. Mohan Guruswamy may be something of a bird of passage in terms of his previous alignments, but his accusations raise some serious questions about who really calls the shots in the Prime Minister's Office and whether the adopted policy is acceptable by law.

Journalists: Not the most popular of species but, suddenly, their by-lines have started showing up in the obituary columns with alarming frequency. Another protected species, under the name of paper tigers, their inclusion in the endangered list is something of a mystery and can only be attributed to criminals and psychopaths who are suffering from a severe case of writer's block.

Service Chiefs: However admirable his record, Vishnu Bhagwat's marching orders have certainly given a new meaning to the phrase "threat perception". Whether George is the knight or the dragon remains unresolved.

Anyone from Bihar: No better example of social justice. From governors to chief ministers, upper-caste landlords to impoverished Dalits, everyone makes it to the coveted list. Perhaps the only state where the entire population is under threat. From the state, that is. Rabri Devi may have survived, but considering the state she's in, it may not be for long.

The BJP Government: The initial reports of its extinction proved somewhat premature. But its recent celebrations may be even more so. With Sonia Gandhi making dire astrological predictions about the BJP government's future, and looking increasingly like she is contemplating renewing her long-term lease on Race Course Road, the Vajpayee Government could find itself heading the endangered list. More so, if another lady in waiting, Jayalalitha, decides that two heads -- Vajpayee's and Karunanidhi's -- are better than one.

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