FLIPSIDE
Testimony TestDilip Bobb
The videotaped testimony to the Grand Jury by President
Clinton may have been unprecedented, but it could also set a trend whereby politicians and
officials can be held accountable for their actions. It's high time such practices were
introduced in India. Aap ki Adalat could become a 24-hour channel, with the person in the
dock being grilled by a proper jury. Here are some prime time candidates.
J.Y. Lele, Secretary of the Board of Control for
Cricket in India.
Grand Jury: Mr Lele, what is your
explanation for the fiasco which led to the humiliation of the Indian cricket team in
Toronto?
Lele: (taking a sip of Pepsi) I can't
remember the exact details. I'm trying to be truthful here, but there was so much going on
at that time ... the crisis in Kuala Lumpur, the pressure from other independent councils,
my memory is not what it was when I first took up this job.
Home Minister L.K. Advani
Grand Jury: Mr Advani, on what grounds are
you so insistent on toppling the Rabri Devi government in Bihar?
Advani: This is my definition of improper
centre-state relations. She has entered the exalted office through the back door. Just
because she is on intimate terms with Laloo does not give her the right to ruin, I mean
run the state. There are 356 reasons why I am convinced her government should go.
Congress President Sonia Gandhi
Grand Jury: Mrs Gandhi, why have you
introduced your 10 commandments which are even stricter than the original ones given to
Moses?
Sonia: I am against improper dress. We need
a uniform code. I am also against certain intoxicants which can drive people in high
places to commit crimes and misdemeanours. I am also convinced that people with small
families stick together. Look at the Clintons. Finally, the ethics committee will hear
complaints of wrong-doing and hold in-camera hearings. We may start with J.B. Patnaik who
is accused of protecting a molester.
Information and Broadcasting Minister Sushma Swaraj
Grand Jury: Ms Swaraj, what are your reasons
for introducing curbs on technology and communications?
Swaraj: As anyone who watched the testimony
on TV will know, there's already been criticism of direct to home services. It corrupts
the young, gives them the wrong ideas and distorts their moral values. I also find it
shocking that people can use taxpayers' money to indulge in phone sex which is why I have
ordered a ban on such services. We need to protect our children from western ideas and
influences which is why I have ensured that my deputy has no power to take decisions. |