BY DILIP BOBB

Summit View

Now that the hype over the historic Gujral-Clinton summit has abated, a more dispassionate evaluation can be attempted. Historically, the official version of events tends to be far different from what actually transpired. Here's what really went on behind the scenes:

Clinton: Mr Prime Minister. I would have preferred to have this meeting in the White House ...

Gujral: Yes, I hadn't finished explaining my doctrine to Hillary when she had to leave Calcutta.

Clinton: Very tragic. She told me it was in keeping with the occasion, very funereal. She was looking forward to hearing how the end turns out. She loves these mysteries.

Gujral: Yes, so do my cabinet colleagues. They keep saying it's a great mystery to them as well.

Clinton: Now to business. Inder is very bullish on India.

Gujral: Yes, India is knocking on the doors of greatness ...

Clinton: I meant Inderfurth, our new man for South Asia. But he is worried about your economic reforms and feels the only way is for you to sign the NPT.

Gujral: We cannot compromise ...

Clinton: I meant a Non-Profligate Treaty. The government salary hike, the girl-child allowance, the public foodgrain allocation, all the other populist gestures.

Gujral: (Weakly): Oh that NPT. Well, you know how it is in a coalition. The right proposes, the left disposes ...

Clinton: And what is your response to Pakistan's call to sign a non-aggression treaty?

Gujral: We already have a non-aggression pact in place. Their troops fired on us and we looked the other way. As I was explaining to Hillary ...

Clinton: These summits are all about give and take. You give and we take the credit.

Gujral: I'm an expert on give and take. I gave my poor officials a huge hike and took from the rich. It's all part of my doctrine. Hillary understood it all very well...

Clinton: Yes, well she's being charged with the same thing. I wish you'd stop dragging Hillary into this conversation, she's in enough Whitewater already.

Gujral: Will you support my government's bid for a permanent seat?

Clinton: I'll have to check with New Delhi.

Gujral: With your embassy?

Clinton: No. The only person who can tell me how permanent your government's seat is. Sitaram Kesri. 

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