Columns: Flipside

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India Today, February 8, 1999
Feb 8, 1999

FLIPSIDE
Millennium Plans

By Dilip Bobb

Such momentous occasions tend to sneak up on you like pitch-diggers in the night. By then, it's far too late to join in the festivities. And there hasn't been anything like this for a hundred years and won't be for the next hundred. For the unwary and unprepared, here are some of the best ways to bring in the new millennium.

The Border Bus: Take the Delhi-Lahore bus for the trip of a lifetime. Literally so, since the threat by the Shiv Sainiks to attack anything with a Pakistani connection means it could be a one-way ticket. However, the ride will make you feel like a minister, or a Pakistani cricketer, since there are decoy buses and heavy security all along the route and at the end you are given a hero's welcome and stay in a five-star hotel. There are a limited number of seats but there are also a limited number of passengers. Contact: For Tickets: Delhi Transport Corporation. For Visas: Pakistan High Commission. For Insurance: LIC.

George's Glacier: He loves it so much he goes there every opportunity he gets. There's no better place to chill out on New Year's Day 1999 than at Fernandes' favourite hangout, Siachen. Apart from the thrill of being at the world's highest battlefield, you get to see the famous Bofors gun in action and also some spectacular fireworks, courtesy the Pakistani army. Thanks to George, local travel is by snowmobile. Contact: George Travels, c/o Ministry of Defence, South Block.

Cabinet Expansion: The most eagerly awaited event of the decade which has been postponed on numerous occasions to coincide with the dawn of a new millennium. Main attraction will be a balancing act performed by Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee. Some berths are still available for the elaborate function to be held in Rashtrapati Bhavan, but book early to avoid disappointment. Contact: Mamata Event Management, TC Office, Calcutta.

Midnight Mass Conversion: Bring in the millennium with a Dangs. The VHP is hosting a mass celebration in Gujarat where guests will be able to witness the elaborate tribal rites associated with this historic occasion, including community dancing around a burning building. Invitations are restricted to Hindus. Preference will be given to those trained in the martial arts. Contact: Ashok Singhal or your friendly neighbourhood VHP office.

Surprise Bash: With Bal Thackeray's suspended animation only valid till midnight on December 31, 1999, this remains a closely guarded secret. But the Indian cricket team will be playing a day-night match against an unknown team at an undisclosed venue to celebrate the new millennium. Owing to the resumption of threats against team members for playing against Pakistan, ticket-holder will be given last-minute instructions on where to go. Seats are limited because most will be occupied by plain-clothed policemen and sniffer dogs. Contact: The BCCI at Last Known Address.

The Third, Third Front: 1999 represents the last chance to see if the various factions and fictions will finally sink their differences, or just sink. Contact: Mulayam Singh Yadav, c/o V.P. Singh, c/o Laloo Prasad, c/o Rabri Devi.

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