March 8, 1999
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FLIPSIDE Missing the Bus By Dilip Bobb We're already missing the bus. All those embraces, the Urdu couplets, the dancers running around the border posts, the sound of voices choked with dust and emotion, a star cast, long-lost brothers and shots of communal harmony. It could have easily been a Bollywood film titled Pyar To Hona Hi Tha. But, as the talking heads reminded us ad nauseam, this was only the trailer. The full-length feature would require much more give and many more takes. However, Border did produce suggestions for improving relations. Here's some. Indo-Pakistan Poetry Contest: Since this particular visit was dominated by poetic exchanges and the sound of "wah-wahs" at Wagah, one suggestion is to hold an annual poetry meet where Atal Bihari Vajpayee will recite his poetry, which always comes across much better than his speeches. It certainly elicits more genuine applause. The contents, usually to do with lovers separated by fate and circumstance, are the ideal way to show the other side that the pen is métier than the sword. Nawaz Sharif, no slouch himself, will be forced to respond in kind. Indo-Pakistani ties could do with some jugalbandi. The Bollywood Bus: Painted in colours designed by Govinda to dazzle onlookers, this bus will be conducted by Dev Anand with Shatrughan Sinha riding shotgun. On board will be a galaxy of stars carefully selected by some unofficial in the PMO to show Pakistanis that there is no discrimination against Muslims in India. The stars will include Shah Rukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Salman Khan, Fardeen Khan, choreographer Farah Khan. At Wagah, they will be met by Imran Khan. Considering their popularity in Pakistan, this will go a long way to showing Indians and Pakistanis that we are all one big Khandan. Cricket Diplomacy: There are fears that, like the ruling party, Indian cricketers are prone to cave in to pressure from their allies in the stands, a la Saurav Ganguly, rather than face the missiles like men. The suggestion from Pakistan is that the next series between the two sides be played in empty stadiums. This will ensure there are no disruptions in play, that players will only have to protect themselves against bouncers and that Sachin Tendulkar is not forced to wander around the boundary under armed guard. Shiv Sena and Jamaat-i-Islami meeting: Suggested by Bal Thackeray, the two parties have agreed to meet on disputed territory to bury their hatchets and agree to a ceasefire in the interests of preserving the Lahore Declaration. At the meet, they will pledge to shelve their objections to any visiting teams, at least till the honeymoon is over. However, the Pakistan side has objected to the proposal that the Thackeray team drive across in a T-47 tank. Livestock Exchange: Proposed by Parkash Singh Badal. In exchange for sheep, India will send its excess cow population. This will free up the roadblocks preventing better relations, not to mention the ones in Indian cities. |
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