| Criminal
Prose A pathetic attempt at aping
Robert Ludlum's thrillers.
By Ashok Banker
THE ORPHAN
BY SHASHI WARRIER
PENGUIN INDIA
PRICE: RS 200, PAGES 340
There are two kinds of crime fiction. The first includes some
of the finest contemporary fiction, probing deep into the tortured heart of the urban
socio-economic milieu -- and making the dark descent absorbing and worthwhile, if not
outright entertaining. The second is fiction that's plainly unreal and implausible -- but
handled so expertly you go along for the ride and enjoy yourself thoroughly. Shashi
Warrier's book falls with a resounding thud between the two genres. So much so that the
only "crime" about this kind of fiction is that it's been published at all. That
too by a publisher of the stature of Penguin India, which can certainly do much better.
From the first page, Warrier's clumsy prose thumbs you in the
eye with its pathetic attempt at a Ludlumish "slick" thriller style. Thrillers
are notoriously plainly written, emphasising pace, action and simple, clear
characterisation. But Warrier outdoes the worst. He struggles painfully between the slang
of the '70s and plain bad writing. When he is not tossing off jarring phrases such as
"poked him in the tummy", "the moonlight was faint" and "I got
bugged about that", he's insulting the reader's intelligence by penning clich s such
as "you will die for this now".
So you look for plot and pace, hoping that Warrier can at
least carry you through to the end with some modicum of entertainment. Bitter
disappointment. His protagonist -- a super-commando who eats Pakistani soldiers for
breakfast in Kashmir, then lunches with the prime minister, discussing top-secret rescue
missions, and juggles psychopaths and political conspiracy for dinner without a burp -- is
as cardboard a figure as a pizza box and not half as digestible. The dialogue echoes
Bollywood at its worst, while the action-set pieces are highly recommended bathroom
reading for the piles-afflicted. |