April 13, 1998

Dilip Bobb

The carpet bombing by TV channels during and after the elections reinforced the old adage -- never have so few owed so much to so many. But it also proved that television presence, or lack of it, can make you or break you. Witness Sitaram Kesri. His ouster had as much to do with his bumbling presence on TV as it did with Sonia Gandhi's house cleaning. Here's how some of our biggies measure up on the small screen:

The Prime Minister: Has set a new standard for sound bytes since he requires so many to make the simplest of pronouncements. His TRP ratings are not available at the moment since one doesn't know if he's fallen asleep before he completed his sentence or whether the viewer has beaten him to it. If Atal Bihari Vajpayee's policy decisions take as long, we could be into the next millennium before the nation finds out whether his Government is coming or going.

Sonia Gandhi: It's like watching a silent movie. More the pity since she has a terrific screen presence, charisma and telegenic kids as an added attraction. She needs to realise that the Windscreen Wiper Wave doesn't cut any ice on TV. Nor does the excuse that she has an open mind and a closed mouth. She needs to say something. Then again, maybe not.

Congress Spokesman: V.N. Gadgil tops the ratings for being the most unconvincing presence on TV. Specially since he spends all his TV time denying any crisis in the party even though it's already front page news. Won the Ostrich Award after his bravura performance in denying dissent the day after Matang Singh criticised Sonia -- on TV.

Lok Sabha Members: The World Wrestling Federation would go out of business if it had to compete with our elected representatives. Not recommended for those with weak hearts or children below the age of 18. Having to sit through hours of Parliament coverage is best described as add nauseous.

N. Chandrababu Naidu: Cuts a dashing figure since he's always dashing off somewhere or the other. However, his main drawback is that he mumbles, a sound unintelligible to the human ear. Which is why most channels display English subtitles even when Naidu is speaking in English.

V.P. Singh: Most viewers tend to call the cable repairman when he's on because of his doublespeak. Best person to watch if you need a problem for every solution.

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