Columns: Dilip Bobb

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Encouraged by recent trends, Indian manufacturers of novelty items are rubbing their hands in gleeful anticipation of a bonanza come the festival season. The trigger has been the merchandising success of Hello Brother, with everything from T-shirts to watches. Considering that the Indian elections provide far greater entertainment -- singing, dancing, star cast, villains and comedians -- all for free, here's a list of items you may want to pick up for your kids.

Hello Brother, Hello Sister: Two for the price of one. With this election having set the stage for brother-sister acts, here's one item that's squeaky clean and politically correct. It's suitable for boys and girls and is clearly stamped 'Made in India'. As a novelty item, it has a mass appeal, a sort of Barbie and Ken dressed in kurta-pyjama and a sari. The desi version will have a unique feature. When pressed once, they will say "Mummy". When pressed again and again, the twin-doll will utter a longer sentence, chorusing: "We're only helping Mummy." By a curious coincidence, that's exactly what Rajiv Gandhi said while denying he was interested in politics.

The Prancing Dragon-Killer: Named George, after the original slayer of dragons, this depicts a man prancing around on one leg. The reason, on closer inspection, is that the other foot is permanently in his mouth. But clearly, this is targeted at boys who like their toys to spit fire and smoke. This one has George shooting from the hip. By paying extra, you can buy his ever-expanding range of targets, from naval admirals to Chinese soldiers, Bengali printers, a Mother of Two, the Thief of Bihar, and the latest, a turbaned Sikh who bears a close resemblance to Chief Election Commissioner M.S. Gill. The collection does not, however, include a Nawaz Sharif look-alike.

The Elephant Man: Should appeal to all those who like their toys larger-than-life. This one, popularly referred to as Haathi, comes with a five-year guarantee, an impressive pedigree and a string of one-liners which may or may not make any sense (sample: "Compare Atal and Sonia? Shakespeare and mango pickle."). What will appeal to the more gullible buyers is a hidden sensor which gives him a saffron tinge when taken out in public. In other words, his switch displays his true colours. Accessories include a Nehru topi and a crystal ball for predictions about the future.

My Deal, Your Deal: A card game with a patriotic touch, it has counters and counter-moves and is basically a desi version of monopoly where one player tries to fool the other player into claiming territory which is rightfully not his. The two players represent the leaders of neighbouring countries and use counters shaped like a bus. The third player, represented by a lawyer, has to guess whether there was a deal or not, and, if so facto, who did what, when, and to whom. As a guessing game, this could keep your kids amused for hours, if not years.

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