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FLIPSIDE Trimming the Waste By Dilip Bobb
Trimming the fat. Shedding weight. Wherever you look, the government seems to be getting fiscal. Of course, every government since Nehru has done push-ups in front of the God of Fiscal Deficit, whom nobody has seen but who rumour has it, occupies an office in North Block. But now, with most states facing bankruptcy, moral and financial, the prime minister has been talking tough on the need to cut down on wasteful government expenditure. Here's how his latest meeting with his staff in the PMO went. Prime Minister: Why are we having this meeting in Vigyan Bhavan? Close Aide: Actually sir, this was the only place big enough to accommodate us all. The PMO has so many responsibilities and ministries under it that our regular office on Race Course Road was too crowded. Prime Minister: Well, we have gathered here to do something about cutting down on wasteful expenditure like travelling abroad, appointments, etc. Which are the ministries that we have told to exercise financial discipline? Closer Aide: The Ministry of Tourism, sir. It spends more on promoting India abroad than we earn from tourists from abroad. We advised them to cut spending across the board. Prime Minister: Get me the Minister on the line. Closest Aide: Sir, Madame Uma Bharati is in London with all her staff. From there, they will be going to Switzerland to study the reasons why so many Indians are travelling there, from there... Prime Minister: Never mind. What's next on the chopping list? Aide Memoire: External affairs, sir, their bills have really shot up after Kargil. All this Track II diplomacy makes it difficult to keep track of who's meeting whom and where. Or why. Prime Minister: Get me Jaswant Singh. Band Aide: He's in London briefing the press about his secret meeting with Strobe Talbott. From there he goes to Washington to brief the press ... Prime Minister: Never mind. Who's next on the list? Lemon aide: The Law Ministry, sir. They seem to be a law unto themselves, what with signing all these extradition treaties.. Prime Minister: Get me Mr Jethmalani. Aide de Camp: Sir, he's in London studying the British Legal System and its relevance to India. After that, he's off to Dubai to inform his former clients... Prime Minister: Extradite him back to India. Maybe we should have held this meeting in London instead. How can I get anything implemented when the implements are all implementing what they have been told to implement? My instructions were crystal clear. Humanitarian Aide: Sir, maybe your practice of setting an example will work in this case. If you were to affect some cuts ... by that I mean shift them to another department, it might spur others into action. Prime Minister: Good idea. Get me the minister of state for personnel and planning. He can start identifying excess staff in the PMO. Arun Shourie: Sir, I am right here. Prime Minister: What are you doing here? Arun Shourie: I've just been appointed to the PMO. |
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