Columns: Flipside: Dilip Bobb

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Adding to the pile of pending cases in courts, the chief justices' conference recently agreed on a set of ethical guidelines to be adopted sometime in the future. This is seen as an invitation to the political leadership to follow suit. To be called "The Restoration of Values in Public Life" and overseen by the Archaeological Survey of India, the proposed code of conduct is a landmark issue, specially if public servants disclose their land holdings. Here's the code of conduct we'd like to see implemented.

Shun Sycophancy: Also known as the Suspension of Disbelief, this act is aimed mainly at the Congress and the BJP which are, in any event, specially those involving the leadership, becoming increasingly difficult to tell apart. Ordinary citizens are fed up with hearing Sonia Gandhi being compared to Joan of Arc, Jhansi ki Rani, Margaret Thatcher and Mother Teresa. Similarly, the attempts to portray Atal Bihari Vajpayee as Winston Churchill, Metternich, Nehru (the original) and Gandhi (the original) are really going over the topi. Such combinations, as any child knows, are only found in Hindi movies.

Class Distinction: Aimed at doting parents like Laloo Yadav and Rabri Devi, not to mention appropriately named vice-chancellors of Bihar universities. This clause is to stop politicians and other VIPs from gifting their daughters extravagant wedding presents, such as top marks in examinations where she had originally failed the entrance exam. Politicians should refrain from applying such pressures and just pay for the privilege like most other parents do. Unlikely to be passed.

The Disclosure Scheme: Whereby it will be incumbent on incumbents to declare their assets, just like ordinary citizens are made to do. However, since this is likely to cause a major upheaval in the economy if implemented, politicians will be allowed to disclose only 10 per cent of their assets. Of course this will, in any case, cause a major upheaval in the economy.

Executive Immunity: Targeted at those politicians who commit a major injustice and then conveniently become cabinet ministers to ensure that justice is not done. As in the case of L.K. Advani, Murli Manohar Joshi and Uma Bharati who have effectively demolished any case against them. The fact that one of them happens to be the home minister only adds to the farce. The proposed clause will ensure that politicians who have cases against their name will be disbarred from holding public office. This will serve a dual purpose since it will automatically halve the size of today's jumbo cabinets.

The Forcible Conversion Act: Dedicated to V.P. Singh, this will ensure a limit on just how many acronyms, castes, sub-castes and castaways can be given special privileges in return for voting for the government in power. This will prevent half the population from becoming STs, SCs, OBCs or Jats from Haryana, (even if they aren't Jats and don't belong to Haryana) and guarantee them jobs they aren't qualified for. This act will specially apply to states where elections are due.

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