Flipside; Dilip Bobb

It's a sign of the times. Economic liberalisation has still to find full acceptance in India, but it has already created a wide range of new job opportunities. Some might see this as evil and backward, considering that economic liberalisation is a western, therefore, alien and unwanted concept, like democracy for example. However, there are others who have been given a chance to flex their muscles in the new employment exchange that has been created. Placement agencies are head-hunting for the following new posts.

OTHER COLUMNS

Right Angle

Fifth Column

Kautilya

Crime Branch: With so many criminals now having become politicians and standing for elections, it represents a sea change from earlier years, when most candidates turned crooked after becoming politicians. In the new spirit of enterprise, it also represents a growth industry, particularly in Uttar Pradesh and Bihar. The new organisation will employ history-sheeters who then contest elections, thus ensuring they win and clearing the public of any doubt regarding recent claims of people having actually spotted an honest politician. Joining the Crime Branch guarantees lifelong employment with rich rewards and unexpected bonuses, like being cleared by the CBI.

Love Police: Since it has been decided, at the highest levels of the government-within-a-government, to ban any show of private love and affection from public places, certain state governments like in Uttar Pradesh are considering employing Love Police. This is necessary because love is a year-round phenomenon and does not turn monstrous only on Valentine's Day. The new force will patrol the streets and college campuses, where this evil, foreign practice is most prevalent and ensure it is banned from all Indian hearts and homes. Candidates will need to be proficient in breaking glass, kicking down doors and other heart-stopping action.

Controller, Dissidents: Another growth industry, judging by the number of new parties which have been floated recently, having broken away from the original dissident party. The nay-scent industry has been given a further boost following recent events, where the main dissident opposed the head dissident and joined a committee his dissident party was opposed to. Can be confusing, but with coalitions ruling the roost, it offers rapid growth for suitable candidates. Applications should be addressed to Sharad Pawar, c/o Nationalist Congress Party.

Stone Casters: Uma Bharati quit the Cabinet to launch this new venture which will employ people well versed in the art of casting stones. Or stoning casts, specially film casts. The new organisation is intended to perform a public service by offering jobs to the unemployed as well as clearing the roads of all that rubble. They, however, will not be referred to as rubble-rousers.

Prime Protector: A newly created post in the Prime Minister's Office. This is a high-level job, considering this is the highest office in the land. However, this is not to be confused with the Special Protection Group. The Prime Protector's prime task will be to protect the prime minister from flak because of newly created employment opportunities like the Stone Casters, Love Police, Dissidents and the Crime Branch.

	METRO TODAY \| DAILY NEWS \| ASTROLOGY \| ARCHIVES \| INDIA TODAY \| HOME
	Cover Story \| Nation \| Columns \| Newsnotes \| From the Editor in Chief \| Editorials \| Eyecatchers Investigation \| Sports \| Voices \| Defence \| Offtrack \| Bodyline \| Centrestage \| Issue Contents


	Feb 28, 2000