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FLIPSIDE
Who Dares, Loses By Dilip
Bobb
 Everyone
is wondering what those strange, strangled squeaks emanating from the
ranks of the Congress really mean. Sonia loyalists say they find it
revolting and that it is merely a case of empty vassals making the most
sound. But there is clearly something brewing in the Land of Nod and it's
not cappuccino. Last week, the Bravado Brigade met at a secret location to
chalk out their strategy. Excerpts.
Jairam Ramesh: Congressmen, we are
gathered here in a time of great crisis. We have all lost our tickets to
Nirvana, the Rajya Sabha and the Municipal Corporation. The party's index
is down and we are forced into strategic tie-ups with the likes of Mamata
Banerji. We need to speak out fearlessly.
Vasant Sathe: I agree. The more fearless we are the less we have to
fear. The only thing we need to fear is fear itself. I'm getting carried
away, but you know what I mean. It is all because of this confusion and
mental depression that Congressmen are going through. We need to bell the
billi.
Rajesh Pilot: That is all belly bell, but what action should we
take? We must fight for value- based politics instead of having to value
people with no base. We must fulfil Rajiv Gandhi's vision of a party
without power brokers, otherwise we will all be electorally broke. I
suggest we take our views to the Grievance Committee of the party.
Jitendra Prasada: Good Idea. We had all forgotten there was such a
thing. So far we have been grieving in silence. Who heads it?
Jairam Ramesh: Sonia Gandhi.
Jitendra Prasada: We cannot let such minor setbacks deter us from
doing our duty to Queen and country. We deserve better, our voices must be
heard.
Vasant Sathe: That is why we are meeting at a secret location. We
need to formalise our strategy and speak in one voice. There should be no
dissension in the ranks.
Manmohan Singh: I thought that was what this meeting was all about.
We must protest strongly against the leadership. People are disgruntled,
and the lack of direction and misguided policies are taking us nowhere. It
is all the fault of that Yashwant Sinha.
Rajesh Pilot: We are here to protest against the Congress
leadership, not the BJP.
Manmohan Singh: Sorry, I must have come to the wrong meeting.
Vasant Sathe: There should be a meeting of minds. A unity of
purpose. A firmness of resolve. I know I'm getting carried away...
Jairam Ramesh: Or expelled from the party, if anyone came to know
of this meeting.
Manmohan Singh: I'm not party to this. I have no base as it is, and
if word got out, I'd be another item on the subsidised list. In fact, my
conscience dictates that I will have to bring this to the notice of the
leadership.
Vasant Sathe (hastily): As I said, we need to speak with one voice.
I propose we take an oath.
All: We pledge loyalty to the leadership of Sonia Gandhi.
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