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| July 10, 2000 | ||
METRO TODAY | DAILY NEWS | ASTROLOGY | ARCHIVES | INDIA TODAY | HOME |
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| FLIPSIDE Cracking the Code By Dilip Bobb
Politicians: As a breed, they exhibit certain common characteristics which, as has been proved time and time again, causes serious injury to the overall health and well-being of the nation. In medical terms, these are described as lack of vision; an insatiable hunger for self-promotion, whether financial or otherwise; a leech-like ability to bleed the host country dry and a knee-jerk need to dole out favours and sops to the undeserving. A genetic makeover could see them actually doing what they were elected to do: serve the people rather than the other way around. Bureaucrats: Another species which is genetically prone to oppose anything that suggests progress and reform which, in turn, reduces its clout and power over ordinary mortals. The only species in the world which has the ability to block loopholes even where none exist. Other characteristics include a proprietary interest in collecting files and making sure they don't move in an upward direction, and the distinction of having compiled an entire dictionary of words and phrases that all mean "no". However, science still has to find a way of cracking sections 868A and 969C of the Bureaucratic Code. The Bajrang Dal: An affiliate of the ruling party which believes that anyone who does not share their beliefs and biases is genetically flawed and should be eliminated from the country's genetic pool. In an earlier avatar, this used to be confined to Muslims. But recent advances in the field have now led them to the unalterable belief that Christians pose a bigger threat, in genetic terms. Adherents of the group subscribe to the theory being expressed in certain scientific circles that the latest breakthrough could lead to the creation of the perfect master race. Adolf would have approved. Farooq Abdullah: There's nothing wrong with his genes, except an uncontrollable urge to place his foot in his mouth and portray himself as the ultimate martyr. Also suffers from periodic albeit convenient losses of memory, as in his now forgotten role in helping the cause of militancy by another frequent disorder, the rigging of elections. A little help from medical science could alter his perception that autonomy is the perfect antidote for non-governance. Ram Vilas Paswan: His most serious flaw, unrestrained displays of generosity, would be desirable, except, in his case, it has a detrimental effect on the national exchequer. A little help from science could make him as considerate about the ordinary taxpayer as he is about employees under his ministry. |
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Not
since the atom split and promised to usher in world peace has there been
as much excitement in scientific circles. The breakthrough affected by the
Human Genome Project is all set to change established patterns of human
behaviour which is great news for countries like India, where established
patterns of behaviour have been directly responsible for a majority of its
problems. Here's how rosy the future could look if certain chronic genetic
disorders were corrected, relating to the following institutions and
individuals: