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STATES:
ORISSA
The
Bonds That Heal
The shell-shocked
survivors of last year's killer cyclone in Ersama are taking charge of
their own destinies and are seeking comfort and security in matrimony
By
Ruben Banerjee
He
was a widower. She a widow. Unfortunate enough to have come in the path
of last year's killer cyclone that razed coastal Orissa, both had lost
heavily. Apart from his assets, Jhatu Das of Sarabapatho in the devastated
region of Ersama had lost his wife Laxmipriya and four children. Menoka
Das of Chaulia village also shared a similar fate. The huge tidal waves
had swept away her husband Hemanta and their only child Jaga.
The elemental
fury left both Jhatu and Menoka destitute. Like many others who met with
a similar fate-the cyclone killed over 8,000 people - in the region, they
almost lost their will to live. Numbed by the unexpected turn of events,
Jhatu lost his speech for months after the cyclone struck on October 29
last year. Menoka, in fact, even harboured the thought of taking her own
life. That's when their paths crossed in the dusty ruins of Ersama. Bound
by their misfortune and grief, Jhatu and Menoka agreed to fill their emotional
vacuum. They decided to exchange garlands all over again at a temple in
nearby Jagatsinghpur town. Jhatu and Menoka have since returned to their
village as husband and wife.
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| Another
marriage of convenience |
Nearly a
year after the apocalyptic storm left a huge scar on their collective
psyche, the people are earnestly rebuilding their dreams in Ersama. Amidst
its bereavement, the region is therefore celebrating as well: more and
more individuals like Jhatu and Menoka are getting married and boisterous
marriage processions followed by village feasts have become symbols of
renewed hope.
"People
are taking charge of their own destinies," explains Basanta Kar of
ActionAid, an NGO in the region. Jhatu corroborates this: "My loneliness
aggravated my helplessness. Now I am no more alone. I have someone at
home to share my plight." The sharing is certainly giving strength
to the cyclone victims. Having lost his wife and children, Rakesh Mondal,
24, of Sarabapatho, felt purposeless for months. Till he tied the knot
with Sangeeta of Ajgarbedi. For Sangeeta, an unmarried orphan, marriage
with Mondal has given her support; for Mondal there is now a family to
plan for.
Resilient
Community: Hundreds of new homes are being set up. There is a lot
of elation on finding new partners and rekindling hopes. "It's the
best thing that could have happened to me in my mundane existence. I have
rediscovered the reason to live," gushes Panchanan, a widower who
has married Poornima, an orphan from Kandharpur. The task of helping people
recover their mental health had once seemed daunting. The disaster had
left many of its victims in deep shock while others had recurrent nightmares.
"Fortunately, the community is showing more resilience than we expected,"
admits Rita Ray, a sociologist at Bhubaneswar's Utkal University. "These
marriages are a clear sign of emotional recovery."
But the
road to a secure future with a new partner is not without pitfalls. For
each of the dead the Government paid Rs 75,000 to the surviving family
members. And having lost entire families, there are widows and unmarried
girls who have got lakhs of rupees. Barely a year after the disaster,
many continue to be mentally unsettled, making them easy prey to men on
the look-out for women with a bank balance. Bhakta Maity of Sunadiha,
for instance, has two wives, both of whom survived the cyclone. But that
did not stop him from taking a widow as his third wife. At Jhatibari,
a father and son have taken two orphaned adult sisters as their wives;
each sister had received a hefty compensation.
But most
marriages are not born of such lack of scruples. For matrimony, the people
realise, is a prudent way to pool resources. Rula Maiti of Gholpada village
is awaiting the compensation she is entitled to for having lost her husband
and children. Bhagirati Patro of the same village will also get some as
his wife died. Sooner or later, the money will come in and they will get
rich. But both realise that without families, they will remain emotionally
poorer. So with the villagers' consent, they have already begun to stay
together as husband and wife. Once the money comes they plan to throw
a feast, formally get married, build a proper house and put their tragedies
behind. Together they hope to have enough strength to rebuild their lives
on the ruins of Ersama.
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In
India, youth is marked by impetuosity and prevented from getting ahead.
Elsewhere, of course, the young rule the world, says INDIA TODAY Deputy
Editor Swapan Dasgupta in 
