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FLIPSIDE
Farce
Multiplier
By
Dilip Bobb
 There's
this old adage about history repeating itself, the first time as tragedy,
the second time as farce. Indian politics has examples in plenty. All
ruling parties have followed one unwavering dictum: when in doubt, expand
the cabinet. This exercise, known in bureaucratic circles as Farce Multiplier,
creates endless confusion. Here are some examples based on letters sent
by various ministries in response to crucial policy decisions.
From
the Ministry of Surface Transport
Dear
Shri Susuki,
Vide your
letter dated 1.1.1990 addressed to the hon'ble minister of surface transport,
we are happy to inform you that there has been considerable movement in
the ministry. Vide the latest cabinet expansion, the ministry has reached
a trijunction. There is now a separate ministry for road transport and
highways. You are hereby directed to approach the new ministry concerned
with a fresh application in triplicate.
From
the Ministry of Sport
Dear
Shri Kapil Dev,
We are in
receipt of your undated letter addressed to the hon'ble minister of sport
demanding an official letter from the hon'ble minister clearing your name
of all wrongdoing in the matter of match-fixing. However, it may be noted
by your good self that since then the hon'ble minister has been shifted
to a new ministry and since this is a matter concerning the minister of
state, you may submit a fresh application to the new hon'ble Minister
of State for Sports Ms Uma Bharati. PS: This should not be taken as a
reflection of the state of sports in the country.
From
the Ministry of Law, Company Affairs and Shipping
Dear
Shri Onnasis,
We are in
receipt of your letter dated April 1, 1959 wherein you had requested a
copy of our laws on shipping. Since then, as you may be aware, much water
has flown under the bridge. The hon'ble Minister of Law and Company Affairs
Shri Arun Jaitley has only recently been given additional charge of shipping
and a few other ministries that no one else wants. He will take some additional
time to study the laws relating to shipping and we will inform you as
soon as this is done, or the next cabinet expansion, whichever comes first.
We trust
you are in the best of health.
From
the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting
Dear
Shri Murdoch,
We had sent
you a reply vide our letter dated 1.8.2000 regarding your objections to
Zee Television's new gameshow. This was after your discussions with Shri
Jaitley who has since been moved to another ministry. Your letter has
been forwarded to the new minister who has forwarded it to the ministry
of law and company affairs for their comments. We are awaiting the same
from the hon'ble Minister for Law and Company Affairs Shri Arun Jaitley.
From
the Ministry of Environment
Dear
Shreemati Maneka Gandhi,
We are in
receipt of your numerous letters regarding the ecological impact of the
creation of the new state of Jharkhand. However, as the hon'ble minister
for environment and forests has been shifted to Jharkhand, your letters
have been redirected.
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With
all the noise about the cabinet resolution on dilution of the government’s
stakes in public sector banks, is anyone buying shares of these banks,
asks V. Shankar Aiyar in 