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FLIPSIDE
Labour's Love Lost?
By Dilip Bobb
Is
it time to say Ciao to the Congress? Is the party's Big Mama Mia starting
to show her true colours now that Holi has, appropriately, just passed?
Not so, say the optimists who, eternally optimistic, point to a new dawn
and a new moon, and son, and stars, or anything else that makes optimists
optimistic. There's a new organisation in place (sort of), a new crop
of young leaders (off sorts) and a delegation (odd sorts) just returned
from London with tips from New Labour on how to decant old wine into new
bottles. Here's how their meeting went.
Sonia
Gandhi: Things are looking up. My reorganisation of the organisation
has got rid of the deadwood and we are now ready to launch the New Congress.
Pranab Mukherjee: Well, we may not have
much of a Congress left to run. Most of our partymen are running all right,
but in the opposite direction. At this rate, we will be decimated in West
Bengal. What do we do?
Ghulam Nabi Azad: We have a counter strategy.
Just give us a few days to figure out how it works.
Sonia Gandhi: That's right, we have no
need to panic. The Congress, as Arun Shourie keeps reminding everybody,
is all in favour of disinvestment. Get rid of all our loss-making units,
isn't that what New Labour suggested in London?
Natwar Singh: Yes, madam. In my talks
with the high commissioner at the dinner he hosted for us, and with the
deputy high commissioner at the lunch he hosted for us, and the tea party
in Southall, everybody agreed that we have nothing to lose. In fact, I
was reading this biography of ...
Salman Khurshid: Let's not read too much
into recent developments. I agree that the defections in West Bengal to
Mamata Banerjee has derailed us somewhat, and the setback in Tamil Nadu
is a serious blow and leaves us in the sambar, but we still have a solid
presence in the rest of the country.
Pranab Mukherjee: We do?
Anand Sharma: What we learnt from Peter
Mandelson, the architect of New Labour, was that there's no such thing
as a free meal. This is betrayal by Jayalalitha, considering the number
of free meals she has had at our expense.
Sonia Gandhi: Talking about expenses,
we ran up a huge bill sending you three to London. What advice did they
give to energise the party?
Natwar Singh: Well, they did mention
something about leadership qualities and charisma, and decisiveness and
ability to make the Opposition look outdated and slow, (adding hastily),
but we need have no worries on that score.
Sonia Gandhi (suspiciously): What else did they
say?
Salman Khurshid: They suggested we throw
everything into constituencies where we have a fighting chance and less
effort on those where we don't.
Sonia Gandhi: Excellent idea. Which parts
of the country do our electoral analysis point to?
Vincent George: Er ... it's an area you
have happy memories of.
Sonia Gandhi: Where?
Vincent George: The Andaman and Nicobar
islands.
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