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SOCIETY AND TRENDS: POLYANDRY
Scarcity Of Brides
This arrangement
does sometimes face unexpected hurdles. Breaking caste taboos, Sugreev
Gurjjar of Sone ka Gurja village married Kamla Meena in the hope that
she would bear him and his four brothers children. But Kamla refused to
play her part. The brothers are furious but helpless. "She cheated
us and has already adopted family planning measures," Sugreev fumes.
But Kamla is adamant. "Only Sugreev can touch me." She even
refuses to be photographed with the other brothers.
The scarcity of brides is spreading to other
communities too. In the Brahmin family of Raju Sharma of Mangalpura village,
there are four brothers but only the eldest could get a bride. Sharma
insists that his brothers do not share his wife but they have to do their
share of household chores. His neighbour, a Prajapat, though has succumbed
to Gurjjar ways. Ram Pal, 35, is the only one who is married among six
brothers. His wife Suneeta says the majority community's custom has an
impact on them also. "If I refuse, they will force themselves upon
someone outside our four walls and land in trouble. So for the family's
sake I have to submit." Her fears are not unfounded. In recent months
there have been two cases where unmarried men in their late thirties have
raped children.
Even a government job is not enough to attract
a bride. Guman Singh Gurjjar is the first graduate in his village and
earns Rs 1,800 a month as a schoolteacher. At 25, he is still a bachelor.
His elder brother Prem Singh, 30, is unmarried. If Guman marries, Prem
Singh may share conjugal rights with his brother's wife which Guman says
he won't allow. "It seems girls here prefer a dacoit to a teacher
as a husband," he says wryly.
Indeed, a dacoit is no longer an outcast in
Dang. In fact, surrendered dacoits are considered suitable grooms because
they are not only wealthy but also wield considerable influence. "We
are not those dramatic dacoits, but time passers (sic)," says Mohar
Singh, 27, a dacoit who surrendered with his gang some months ago. Strange
as it sounds, Mohar became a dacoit when he was refused a bride. As a
nine-year-old child, he had seen his father being hacked to death by members
of a rival family. The boy grew up with revenge on his mind. A few years
ago, the community elders called the two warring families and offered
a solution: flesh for flesh-a wife for a man killed. But the killers considered
it below their dignity to marry their daughter in a Dang village. Today
Mohar faces numerous charges, including killing his father's murderer.
"It would not have happened had I been married," he says.
Unsurprisingly, marriage has become a tool with
which to reform dacoits. Jagdish Dhompura, a former dacoit now lodged
in Agra Jail, took to arms when his fiancee married his better-off cousin.
He surrendered only after he got married to another girl. Dacoit Phadi
also surrendered after villagers arranged his marriage to Santo. The case
of Lajja is no different. He surrendered only after his marriage.
"Nothing else matters here except a woman,"
says M.N. Dinesh, superintendent of police, Karauli. "A wife, a precious
commodity, is to be aggressively protected and fought for." The police
too have learned to put this to good effect. They now offer marriages
to set up moles to track dacoits who refuse to surrender. This worked
in the case of Suraj Mali who was killed last week in Karauli district.
So what is the solution? "The area needs
heavy investment in basic amenities," says Dinesh. He is working
on development plans, including one to exploit the tourism potential of
the area. When prosperity comes to Dang, so will brides-or so the men
hope.
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