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NORTH AMERICAN SPECIAL:
DIWALI
Spreading Light
In the spirit of Diwali, many Indian Americans are offering
a healing hand to the kin of wtc victims
By Mabel Pais
 Priyansh
Saxena, an executive at a city-run business promotion facility, could
not bring himself to believe that his wife had perished in the carnage
at the World Trade Center on September 11. In fact, he kept promising
his children, aged four and six, that their mother would come back soon
and that she had only gone missing.
"He knew his wife could not be alive,"
says Purnima Guha, a social worker. "But the denial factor was very
strong." Guha recently undertook an uphill task: "I wanted Saxena
to go for counselling, to take his children to a child psychologist and
to join a bereavement group."
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PLAY WAY: Acting Hanuman and his army in the play Ram Leela
in New Jersey
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She finally managed to convince him to meet a
therapist and a grief counsellor. "At least one of them was Indian,
and that made things somewhat easier," she says. A good six weeks
after the tragedy struck, reality has finally dawned on Saxena. He has
now accepted the loss of his wife. As for his children, they are learning
a few things about death and bereavement early in life.
"This is the best Diwali gift I could give,"
says Guha, who is helping other Indian families deal with the loss of
their dear ones. "To lend a healing hand, to light up a family in
a small way, that is the real Diwali," she says.
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IN TANDEM: BAPS' walkathon in New York to raise funds for
families of WTC victims
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The frightful jolt the world got on September
11 seems to have shaken many people out of their reverie, and many Indian
Americans are reaching out this Diwali to their brethren in their hour
of grief. The fabled Diwali celebrations at New York's Southsea Port-which
drew 100,000 people last year-has been cancelled. As a volunteer of the
Bochasanwasi Shree Akshar Purushottam Swaminarayan Sanstha (BAPS) says,
the real marking of Diwali this year should be by helping the grieving
families. The Sanstha, which has held a slew of blood donation camps and
marathons in Chicago, Washington DC, Houston and several other American
cities to raise money for bereaved families, has several doctors volunteering.
"We are helping Indians and non-Indians," says a BAPS volunteer.
Adds Ajay Patel, a BAPS volunteer. "For more than a decade, we, as
Indians in America, have been helping community groups in many cities."
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The comfort of strangers and neighbours
is as valuable as the consolation and support of friends, feel many
bereaved.
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Several other Indian organisations, including
the Association of Indians in America (AIA), have not only joined fundraisers
but have also alerted their volunteers-among them doctors and therapists-to
help the families of the WTC victims. They have also joined interfaith
prayer meetings. "There is a lot of mistrust, and many immigrants
fear that they are being misunderstood," says Hari Khera, AIA president.
"Prayer meetings bring about an understanding and sensitivity."
The comfort of strangers and neighbours is as
valuable as the consolation and support one gets from one's friends, feels
Raju Thankachen, whose wife, Valsa Raju, a 40-year-old foreign exchange
trader, is "still missing". "The pain and sense of loss
we suffer is unimaginable," he says.
A memorial service was held on October 20 at
a church run by the Malayalee congregation in New Rochelle. Over 600 people,
including Bhishma Agnihotri, the ambassador at large, attended the service.
Many non-Americans who have known the Thankachen family for years attended
the memorial service and lauded the family for "enriching the US"
with their strong work ethos and values.
"She came in 1985, and contributed to America's
greatness," said New Rochelle police commissioner, Patrick Carroll,
of Valsa. Since Thankachen insists on saying she is "missing",
the mourners avoided using the dreaded word. But the fact that he finally
consented to hold a memorial service is a sign in the right direction,
say friends.
"Many people are slowly reconciling to
reality," says Guha. "But the faster they do so, the better
it would be not only for them but also for their children."
The pain-even to those who have accepted reality-is
bound to increase during the Diwali season, she admits. Every member of
the Indian community should make an extra effort to help at least one
bereaved family in some concrete way, Guha suggests. But, she urges helping
other too. "We are part of America and non-Asian families are grieving
too," she says.
Children of WTC victims have their own problems
dealing with the new situation. While some have become hyperactive, others
have taken to frightening silence as recourse. Such children need help
to make them understand the enormity of the tragedy. And many Indians
have taken this challenge upon themselves.
It is also interesting to see how many American
neighbours and friends are helping these families," says Satyanand
Perusad. An immigrant from Trinidad, he says many people in his community
have been holding bhajan and prayer meetings in their homes. "People
take turns to hold these meetings and offer a simple dal-roti meal at
the end," he says. "There are many families that earned a very
small living even though their spouses worked at the WTC," he explains.
"Not everyone who worked there was a millionaire. In fact, many immigrants
there did small jobs and earned about $25,000 a year."
Despite the Government's announcement of financial
relief, a large number of WTC bereaved families are yet to receive assistance.
"It becomes imperative to help such families," says Dilip Patel,
a BAPS volunteer.
The victims of the WTC were on the minds of
several people at the annual Navratri celebrations near Edison, New Jersey,
even as people celebrated. "But life must go on, and we must do our
work, enjoy time with our families and have fun too," says Viru Shah,
a young student. "But we must devote some time to helping others
too. There is fun in helping others."
(Some names have been changed to protect identities.)
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