Anne Robinson: So you can only answer questions from a certain period.
Contestant: Well, certainly during the time I'm alive yes.
Anne: I suppose you only know the geography of places you've been to as well.
Touche. From television's Cruella De Vil, you must expect no less. Robinson, anchor of BBC's internationally successful quiz show The Weakest Link, is the host who plucks the ego out of every participant and grinds it to dust with her designer heels. "You must request
a refund from your university," she once told one such hapless creature.

But will meanness sell in India? Will Robinsonesque digs sound just as nasty coming from Neena Gupta? And can Kamzor Kadii Kaun (KKK), the Indian version on Star Plus, sustain the high ratings that have become a habit with the channel since Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC) was launched last July? Yes to all three, says Star Plus. So in January they will replace KBC with our desi dominatrix. KBC, they insist nixing rumours, will be back. So will the Big B. "We just want to reinvent the show and get viewers to miss it a bit," says Sameer Nair, Star's executive vice president. "Big shows the world over have seasons."

STAYING ON TOP.:(From top to below) Nair; Gupta; and Temptation Island on Star World

True, but as it happens, this is the first big post-KBC churning on Indian TV. Star Plus' concern is to stay at the top. Sony Entertainment Television is struggling with internal problems. And the Zee group's flagship channel, Zee TV, is still way behind despite a highly publicised Rs 17 crore re-launch this year. Though Star Plus as a channel has been a consistent performer for a year and a half now, KBC's TRPs have been slipping. And a flustered Star has been searching for a magic mantra once again.

KKK might have too much to live up to though. The programme that sparked off a trend in money-based game shows across channels was the one that single-handedly turned around Star Plus' fortunes. A.C. Nielsen's Tam ratings across all cable and satellite (C&S) homes place KBC in the top 10 for over 60 weeks in the past 17 months. ORG-MARG's Intam data puts it at 41 weeks. Combined with family dramas such as Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi and Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii, it made Star the country's No. 1 satellite channel. Going by Tam data for November 11-17, Star monopolises the top 10 and has 35 shows among the top 50. Sony notches up only three out of 50, while Zee's score adds up to zilch-it enters the picture at No. 53. Compare this to last June, the month before KBC was launched, when Zee and Sony had five shows each in the top 10 and ran neck and neck in the top 50: Sony totalled 27 and Zee 22 while Star struggled with a lone ranger, Kora Kaagaz at No. 38.

Determined not to lose out this advantage, Star is polling viewers to find out if they want an Indian version of Star World's brazenly adulterous offering Temptation Island-which may or may not be for Star Plus, though the poll might be just a gimmick. The channel has also bought the now defunct Channel Nine Gold's library: many of these shows have already done well on DD Metro.

Beaten by the former underdog, Zee seems lost in the wilderness. Intam data for channel shares in the October 22-November 18 period this year shows that Star Plus commands 8.5 per cent of viewing time across India's 38 million C&S homes, Sony has 5.1 and Zee TV 3.2. Figures for prime-time viewing: Star Plus 15, Sony 6.8, and Zee 4. In an attempt to recover lost ground, Zee got a new boss earlier this year. But Group CEO (Broadcasting), Zee Telefilms, Sandeep Goyal's efforts have so far not given definable results. Says media analyst Anil Wanvari, CEO of Indian Television Dot Com: "Some of Zee's content is good, like Niilaamghar, a bid-and-win game show with Shekhar Suman, but it is not packaging and promoting its shows well."

Perhaps it has too much to promote. Instead of focusing on a single show as Star did with KBC, or picking up one at a time, or zeroing in on a small bunch, Zee announced 24 new shows on August 21. Partha Pratim Sinha, director, marketing, counters the criticism: "Our current competitors used to have a sampling problem-that's when viewers don't even bother to check out your channel-so they needed one big show to break the jinx. We never did." Goyal, however, admits, "Zee still needs at least one major driver which would ensure that the large number of good shows have a rallying show."

Three months after the re-launch, not one of Zee's new offerings figures in the current top 10 from Tam or Intam. The piece de resistance of its programming bouquet, the much-hyped Aap Jo Bolein Haan to Haan, Aap Jo Bolein Naa To Naa, was initially being telecast thrice a week. But the novel concept-the audience would decide story endings-seems to have failed to grab viewers. It's now showing only twice a week. Programme timings have been shifted around in recent weeks-on viewer demand, officials insist. But the lasting impression is of a floundering channel. A classic example: Prisoners of War, announced earlier this year, was to be shot on a stylised 10,000-plus sq ft set at Esselworld. But after 30 per cent was constructed and over Rs 4 crore spent, Zee conducted a survey and received negative reports. POW was shelved though officials deny this. Fortunately, there is no uncertainty surrounding the other reality show it is now advertising. Romance Adventure Aap Aur Hum (Raaah) features five married couples sparring through various adventure sports.

ONE-TIME TOP GUN: Goyal (above); and a still (below)from the reality show Raaah

Significantly, Raaah goes on air in January around the same time as Star's KKK. That's also when Sony hopes to launch its swayamvar-on-air, Shubh Vivaah anchored by Madhuri Dixit. It is also planning to gradually launch close to a dozen new programmes over the coming two months. "But Shubh Vivaah is the cornerstone of our strategy," says Nachiket Pantvaidya, VP, programming at Sony. The channel should then be prepared for a possible disappointment, since it is still in the Delhi High Court fighting against Taal Productions for the right to telecast Shubh Vivaah. Taal alleges that they approached Sony with the concept in 1998, and the channel lifted their idea; while admitting that they were approached, Sony denies the charge.

Sony's problems don't end there. Its struggling KBC clone, Jeeto Chhappar Phaad Ke with Govinda, ended three weeks ago. The film distribution department headed by Rajesh Pant will be wound up after the current projects are over because, as CEO Kunal Dasgupta admits, "it was running into losses, there was too much piracy, and the whole business was controlled by unsocial elements". Programming head Rekha Nigam resigned earlier this year. Sony has also laid off over 25 employees in the past two months.

Zee too is creating ripples with its dirty linen. Department heads have reportedly been asked to downsize by 10 per cent. Rumours of a restructuring are supported by a recent ad in a leading daily by an unnamed business house for a whole slew of TV pros. Zee denies that it is behind the ad, but market murmurs on the breadth of the recruitment exercise still point in its direction. Zee Telefilms' profit after tax figure for the six months ending September 2001 was 7 per cent less than the same period last year. And the planned New Age channel has been put on hold.

In the midst of all this, the channel has three mega mythologicals coming up, including Sanjay Khan's Mahabharat this month. Says Sony's Pantvaidya: "Right now, all three main channels are struggling to find that new innovative concept that will help break through. The big challenge is to find the one that works." For those who don't, here's this comment from Anne Robinson of The Weakest Link: "I urge you, ditch the lean, keep the mean." If the channels don't take her seriously, the audience will.