Raj Sawhney may not realise it but this Valentine's Day could well spell doom for him, rather his relationship. For, the pretty woman who dotes on him, Nina Patel, may fire an ultimatum at him: it's either me or the "other girls".

Patel has been waiting for this day since last September when she first saw Sawhney-"chilled" is how she describes him-in a smoky little café in Brick Lane. Their eyes met across the café, he quirked an eyebrow, she smiled ... and love happened. Though inseparable since, Patel expects a little bit more from the relationship. "Valentine's Day is special for me. It's the litmus test. I will come to know where Raj wants to take this relationship. I am keeping my fingers crossed," she says edgily.

Uk Special

Colour Blind When Sangeeta Ghosh met Shane at the workplace-in the kitchen while making coffee and passing each other in long corridors-she had no idea that one year hence she would be his Valentine. "We met last February," recalls Ghosh, tossing her curly, lustrous hair. "I found him warm, profound and genuine. Our views on philosophy and spirituality matched. Even though he is British and white, he knows a lot about India, Hindi movies and curry." Apart from both being fitness freaks, what also brought the two together was the comfort level. "We never felt uncomfortable about our origins.He is the best thing that has happened to me so far," gushes Ghosh. The younger Indian set is open to inter-race marriages Times are clearly changing in Britain, which has one of the highest rates of interracial relationships in the western world. Statistics reveal that one in 10 ethnic minority Britons is the product of "mixed" parents while one in 20 pre-school children in the UK is thought to be of mixed race. "We've seen more and more white men keen on relationships with Indian girls. They believe it to be more stable," says marriage counsellor Madhvi Dambekar. Lending credence to her statement is Steven Kyushin, a scholar who is studying south Asian art and history. "To date in my own race and culture is tedious," he says. "I do not want to wake up to the same face, same voice, same ideas that I know well myself. I prefer someone different, so I am all for interracial dating and marriage. In fact, they produce the best looking kids too!" Though interracial dating is on the rise among British Asians, few tie the knot. Shirly Nair went out with Carl White for three years while at the university but the relationship ended abruptly as her mother objected. "I had to make a tough decision," recalls Nair. "I had to give up my love and opt for an arranged marriage within the community." ButNair is certain that she will not place any such pressure on her children. For now, most Asians prefer to stick to their lot. "We do go out with white or Muslim girls but most often there is no serious involvement," says Kunal Desai, 16. Some parents have, however, started accepting the inevitable. Shekar Patel, father of two, says, "Our children are growing up in a mixed race society. It is inevitable that they will meet and may fall in love with people from other races. I don't mind my daughter marrying a white person." But it's not that simple. "However, I will have reservations about her marrying a black person because of the violent image they have," adds Patel. -IB

What has Patel on tenterhooks is the fact that though they have been seeing each other for over five months, Sawhney sometimes sees other girls too. And to end that, she is standing firm that this V-Day he will have to make a decision. If February 14 is the red letter day for lovers, it will also be the turning point of the fledgling love life of these two.

Valentine's Day. It's not just about love but equally about exchanging gifts. And more, about expectations from loved ones. But while Patel lays great emphasis on the significance of the day, for Priya Ghosh, it begins and ends with love. No expectations. But that could be because of her past experience with her man for the past 18 months, Carl Walker. On their first Valentine together, he expressed his love for her with a gift of a toothbrush and a big pack of Extras. "I was so taken aback. I thought 'oh my god! Do I have such a bad breath?'," recalls Ghosh, a 28-year-old it engineer. Well, the abysmal gift showed his lack of imagination but in Walker, Ghosh has found her true love and this Valentine, she shall be content with a nice, peaceful dinner. The two are getting married in September.

For 16-year-old Kunal Desai it is just another day. "In college we have a book which is brought out every Valentine's Day and people write messages in it. Many messages are from anonymous senders but it's fun all the same."

Kunal's mother Anila does not mind his going out or buying gifts for his girlfriend. After all, February 14 is an equally special day for her. "I still expect to be taken out by my husband though I don't receive any cards or red roses," says the 38-year-old. "We can say what we want every day to each other but Valentine's Day is special."

In fact, with time, some members of the older generation are reconciling to the idea. "Valentine's Day was not very popular in India during my college days. I never heard of it there," says Bharat Patel, a marketing executive in a firm. "It's becoming popular among people of our age group here now. When children were small we could not leave them at home and go out so we were stuck at home. Now after they go out, we also go out," he adds, almost conspiratorially.

"Daughters buying gifts for boyfriends is a very unpalatable thought for Indian parents." Afzana Munim, Model

Toral, Patel's 18-year old daughter, enthuses that Valentine's Day is very important indeed. But she adds that she can't comprehend why we should say we love someone only on that particular day. "Besides, it has become very commercialised these days. It's all about comparing notes. 'How many cards did you receive and how many gifts did you get'," says the teenager.

Exactly the reason why Nalayani Raman, 28, dreads the day. "If there are no bunch of roses on your desk at work, you get pitiful looks," she laments.

For a clutch of young Asians, the day is Big. But here again, the culture and generation divide is amply visible. "For my friends it's a very important day. But my dad disagrees with the whole thing. Mom doesn't even know about it," says model Afzana Munim, 20. "Asian parents are not happy with the idea. Especially, seeing their daughters going out and buying gifts for boyfriends is a very unpalatable thought for them."

Ask 19-year-old Preethi Menon, a college girl, who loves getting cards on Valentine's. "But my mother does not let me go out for a dinner date," she moans. "And even if I am allowed out I have to be back early. My parents do not believe in Valentine's Day and just don't understand why I would want to go out."

"Valentine? What Valentine?" asks Preethi's father P. Menon, 50. "It's not an Indian custom. I don't see why we should celebrate it."

Could Sawhney dodge the ominousness of the day by saying the same? Ask Patel!