"It was a mating of minds, we're soulmates" Richard Rice and Anna

Bombay. Circa 1940s. A young man happens to spot a lovely woman from a train. Just one glimpse and he is head over heels in love with her. Alas for him, the object of his desire is already betrothed. Not one to give up, the young man offers to bribe the husband to divorce her.

Novelist and professor Imraan Coovadia loves narrating this tale about his grandfather. Luckily for him though, love did not call for much theatrics. He was a guest at a Christmas party that Luba and her housemates were hosting several years ago. Though he did not talk to her all through the party, he e-mailed her housemate to set up a meeting at a bar. The rest was destined to fall into place. Coovadia, who is of Indian origin, and Luba, a Russian, now have a son who, the father says, is American. "We don't think of ourselves as an interracial couple," says Coovadia.

"We are destined to meet and be together" Raju and Kim Barrington Narisetti

In America, interracial coupling is on the rise but it is not always easy. A survey by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation and Harvard University revealed that while 72 per cent of those interviewed reported that their families approved instantly of their relationship, it was the hardest for black-white couples with at least one set of parents strongly opposed to the union.

In the case of Jennie Berry and Ravi Chandrasekaran, there was more concern than opposition from both families. Chandrasekaran, 21, and Berry, 23, met three years ago at Stanford University, from where he will graduate this semester. Berry, who graduated last June, is on a one-year fellowship at the Federal Communications Commission.

"It wasn't too hard for me to get beyond superficial concerns about race because my parents always taught me to take in information and draw my own conclusions, regardless of societal norms," says Berry. But it wasn't so simple for Chandrasekaran, who is worried about how interracial relationships are viewed by the world. "I'm sure her parents have got comments. That can be a difficult thought for me since the reverse is seldom that way."

"Our relationship is based on honesty, tust and love and we're happy together" Ravi Chandrasekaran and Jennie Berry

Berry, however, is upbeat. "Initially I went into our relationship thinking that his being a different race didn't matter. I don't feel that way anymore," she says. "I've loved getting to learn more about Indian culture, cuisine and religions through him and his family. I now see his being a different race as a positive," she adds, smiling.

Race is only a small part of the relationship, which is "based on honesty, respect and love. What made me fall in love with Ravi is not what he looks like on the outside, but what he is on the inside," says Berry.

Never in the seven years of their marriage did Valentine's Day enthuse Raju and Kim Barrington Narisetti enough. Well, not until this year when the birth of their first child, Leila Isabella, only days before February 14 marked V-Day as an occasion to reaffirm their love. "Our child will be Indian, West Indian, black, Asian but more than anything else, he will be an American and a reflection of the myriad faces of America," says Raju, an Indian journalist. Wife Kim, managing editor of a magazine, is an Afri-can American.

"Kim jokes that our marriage is rare because not too many Indians in the US end up marrying a black woman," says Raju, adding that he wasn't attracted to a black woman. "I was attracted to a vivacious, smart colleague who seemed interested in me," he says. "The day Raju came to the US from India was August 8, 1990-my birthday. I think we were destined to meet and be together," smiles Kim. And, any hurdles of race and culture are now in the past. "At this point in our marriage we don't even remember that our races and cultures are different. And that is way it ought to be," she adds.

The two met in Dayton, Ohio, where Raju, a business editor, and Kim, a copy editor, were both coming off long-term relationships that had gone kaput. After one date-the result of an open-ended basketball bet-and a few weeks, they ended up wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. They lived together for a while before tying the knot in a Catholic ceremony-though not without encountering problems from Kim's parents, who were apprehensive that Raju might be hankering for a green card. "I wrote a long letter to Kim's father explaining who I am, where I come from, what my values are, why I fell in love with Kim and why I intend to marry her," says Raju. And though her father never wrote back, there never was any more opposition either.

The two have adapted and adopted each other's lifestyles: Kim loves spicy food-and has turned into quite a chef, turning out dosas and idlis for the occasional Sunday brunch-and loves Daler Mehndi. Raju danced up a storm at the carnival in the Port of Spain last year. And what's more, they swear they are as much in love with each other "as we were when we were briefly dating". If anything they are much better friends now.

For Upendra Chivukula, who was recently elected to the New Jersey State Assembly, and Dayci, a Cuban, the opposition, albeit mild, was from both sides: their parents had expected that they'd marry within their own communities. However, it did not take long for the elders to accept the marriage and welcome them as family.

"'When in Rome do as the Romans do' is an adage easier said than done," Chivukula says when asked about his children-son Suraj, 24, and daughter Damianty, 21-dating. "We cannot enforce our own upbringing in India more than a couple of decades ago on our children. We need to be supportive parents guiding them but we cannot let them fear us and be compelled to do what we want," he says, and adds that marriage is the most important decision one makes in life. "Consequences of missteps are quite serious," he says.

Marriage was evidently the right decision for Richard Rice, completely smitten with Anna. He finds everything about her-culture, food, country, family values and customs-enchanting. As for Anna, a South Indian, all that is irrelevant. All that she is thankful for is his strength, his love and his eagerness to embrace everything important to her family and her.

Two years ago, the Brooklyn couple got married after a courtship of three years. Richard, an American born and raised in the US, travelled with Anna to Kerala to meet her family and to renew their vows in a traditional south Indian wedding. He stayed there for three months.

Coming from two different cultures, sometimes, is an advantage. "Both sides work harder at making the relationship work. Maybe, because the expectations are lower," proffers Anna.

Race and culture in this union is a positive. Not that there weren't anxieties from their respective families. "There was a little bit of concern from my parents because I was married and separated before," says Anna, a consultant for a technology company. "I always wanted the person I share my life with to be an Indian but with Richard, everything just felt so right that all those thoughts faded away."

Rice, a computer specialist, agrees. "It was a mating of the minds. We are soulmates and we belong together. She is with or without her culture. I have taken a crack at learning about her food, language and culture because it interests me but with or without it, I'd feel the same way," he says.

And Anna won't have anything special to do for Valentine's. "The day is for people to be thankful for the love in their life. I do that every single day so it's not special-just another day with Richard," she says. Love truly is a universal phenomenon.