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BY DILIP BOBB
Bored Meeting
Tap the phone of any politician today, and the conversation will be about the
ongoing recession. What this shows is that the nexus between business and politics is
complete. Corporate board meetings are no different from those of the ruling party's Core
Committee meetings. Here's a secret recording of the latest one (expletives deleted).
Convener (Chandrababu Naidu): Has everybody punched their time clocks?
Chairman (I.K. Gujral): I'm not sure. I'll have to check and get back to
you ...
Managing Director (Indrajit Gupta): This is no time for waffling. We are
facing flak from all sides. What's our present position?
Chairman: It's very difficult to say. My policy is to
expand our business
relations, but the response has been very hostile. I just can't understand it ...
Bored Member: Neither can anyone else.
I suggest we get a financial rundown from our expert who is, as usual, making a guest
appearance.
P. Chidambaram: I'm afraid the outlook is pretty bad. Our capital
expenditure is crippling and the returns have been very poor. We have to adopt some
drastic measures to improve our profitability otherwise we will all be downsized. I
suggest we hive off some of our loss-making concerns. Our railway operations are in a
shambles.
Ram Vilas Paswan: My aim is to improve efficiency. Punctuality has
improved by 90 per cent. I can't help it if no one, including drivers of on-coming trains
and signalmen, expects trains to arrive on time.
Chidambaram: What this corporation needs is a firm hand at the helm.
Chairman: I agree. Who do you suggest ...? Sorry, I meant it requires that I put my foot
down more often ...
MD: In India, not some obscure African country.
Chairman: You know how it is. All those invitations, it's difficult to make up your mind
...
MD: That's precisely the problem. We need some decisive action, and it
has to come from the people who are perceived to be running the show.
Chairman: I'll inform Kesri ... via Jayant Malhoutra.
MD: No, we will inform our shareholders that decisive action is on the
cards. Our director of press relations can issue the statement.
Jaipal Reddy: It's ready. I just need to change the date. |
