September 21, 1998

Dilip Bobb

The Empress has a new set of clothes. In her husband's time, Anil Nanda's advertising agency would have been hired to trumpet the occasion with catchy slogans. "New, Improved, Extra Value" would fit the bill after the Pachmarhi session of the Congress where Sonia Gandhi's political savvy was on public test. Most political observers, however, remain confused about the new direction. Is the party taking a left turn, a U-turn or staying in the middle of the road? Here's how the Congress Higher Command saw it.

Sonia Gandhi: We must show that we are not out to get Pawar ... excuse my accent, I meant power, by any means. The party needs to take a new direction. We need to show that we are burying the past and are ready for the new millennium. Any suggestions?

Madhavrao Scindia: The political session was very clear about the need for a brand new approach. We decided that we need to form the government on our own and retain our identity, but we cannot do that without the support of other parties. We also agreed that it's right to tie up with the Left. And Jayalalitha wants to know what's in it for her. So we have decided that our coalition partners will not have the right to make any demands, barring Laloo, Mulayam, Jayalalitha and Jyoti Basu.

Sonia: Very helpful. What about the economic agenda?

Manmohan Singh: I have prepared a paper ...

Sonia: That's the problem. We need a brand new agenda, something to revitalise the economy and meet the challenges of the new global order.

Pranab Mukherjee: I have proposed a brand new approach. What this country needs is socialism. We must recapture the commanding heights, nationalise a few industries, introduce panchayati raj and reinvest in PSUs. I have also thought up a brand new slogan, Garibi Hatao.

Sonia: Excellent ideas. Very original. We need the poor to always be with us. This trickle down theory is not trickling. It's like the taps connected to Delhi's water supply. Capitalism is just not working. Now, what about suggestions on how to revitalise the party?

High Command: We have thought of a brand new approach. We will leave all decisions to the new Congress president.

Sonia: My first decision is that anyone with more than two followers is disqualified from important posts. That should restore democracy in the party.

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