Corporate houses employ "finishing schools" in a bid to improve business.

By Vijay Jung Thapa

Six months ago, Krishan Kalra was your regular rec guy. Hair greasy enough to cook on, a thin moustache on the upper lip that could be mistaken for fungus, polyester shirt, striped trousers and black sandals that looked Palaeolithic -- at least. His opening line with a yellow-toothed smile was: "Hellooo ... myself Krishan Kalra, B.E., Kurukshetra. Your good self?" But as they say, that was then and this is now. Kalra today has got himself a lucrative job with a multinational automobile company that requires him to travel abroad often but more frequently entertain foreign clients in India. More importantly, he's acquired a new look -- blow-dried hair that's carefully combed back, clean shaven, sporting a sombre business suit, a spiffy Mickey Mouse tie and trendy cufflinks that make him more approachable, and shoes and socks that match his suit. There's a spring in his step and he slides into conversation with a gel-like smoothness: "Hi. How're you doing. I'm Kris ... Kris Kalra."

Whatever happened? Nothing much. Just finishing schools that have become a craze among private and public sector companies -- with programmes that build up panache and savoir faire which are perceived to vastly help improve client relations and business itself. Kalra's company, recognising the need to expose him to a variety of things he had never come in contact with, enrolled him and other entry-level executives in a business etiquette programme. What it did was open out new avenues that he never knew existed. He learnt about the existence of a "fish knife", what to do when the maitre d' presents a cork to you, what endives are and even real down-to-basic advice like "always lift the seat when you take a pee". If anything, Kalra was enterprising and he worked hard at these new skills. Today, he professes to be completely at ease with his foreign business clients. "I've worked hard at doing the right thing. It makes you feel in control," he says.

With the winds of liberalisation sweeping across, suddenly most companies find that the world is knocking on their doors. "What this has done is make companies a little more conscious of their image and personalities," says Upaul Majumdar, a partner in Upgrade Management Services, among the dozen or so firms offering business etiquette programmes that can cost up to Rs 50,000 for 20 executives.

The spit and polish becomes all the more relevant with many Indian executives dealing with a myriad of nationalities. For instance, a long, guttural and satisfying burp after a lingering meal in, say, Saudi Arabia, would be appropriate, but in Europe you could kiss the deal goodbye. More often than not, it is the technical force that companies worry about. Young men with engineering degrees from places like Rourkela, Warangal, Suratkal or Trichy. Sharp minds, but raw and boorish when it comes to international etiquette and protocol.

The horror stories are a dime a dozen. HCL Perot, for instance, sent a bunch of trainees to its UK office, an airconditioned one with swinging doors. Anyone else would go through the doors, look behind and if there was somebody continue holding the door, lest it swung back. Not the Indians. It took only a few flat-nosed Englishmen for the company to quickly look for etiquette programmes. Similarly, a senior management executive of a public sector company and strict vegetarian would always come back from his trips abroad like he'd been to Auchswitz. An etiquette programme later figured out the reason: difficult-to-pronounce dishes in menu cards made sure he ate nothing at all. Names like hors d'ouvres or poached poisson conjured up nightmarish visions. Today he's learnt to memorise all the international names for spinach and eggplant. Many such stories do the rounds -- of chicken pieces landing in somebody else's plate, of a middle-management executive cleaning out his teeth with 13 toothpicks and displaying what he'd wrenched out proudly on the table cloth, of jelly bean legs and an uncontrollable stammer when a woman executive shook hands.

Besides, in today's business environment etiquette transcends just wining, dining, dressing the proper way and sniffing your armpits before you leave your house. Programmes now concentrate on things like electronic manners -- of minding your p's and q's in things like fax, e-mail and even getting down to details like when to switch your cellphone off. Says P.K. Goel, general manager of Raymonds: "These progammes have become vital. Firstly, they infuse confidence. And secondly, all the officers look so much more pleasing and sophisticated." In simpler words, they don't slurp their soup.

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